


It's Just Like A Game

by TentacleBubbles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A bunch of other peops are mentioned, Established Relationship, Hackers, M/M, Nobody Dies, Spies, Zombie AU, Zombies, all of them - Freeform, and by AU I mean AU, btw main ship is KuroKen, but there is some injury?, i have no idea where this came from but i finished it so i might as well post it, its safe?, neuroscientists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6848509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TentacleBubbles/pseuds/TentacleBubbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Actually, Kenma thought the real world apocalypse had way better graphics than most games. Coincidentally, he hadn't been playing a video game like usual when it all happened. Actually, it took him a week to realize that zombies were already roaming the streets.</p><p>OR</p><p>That one fanfic with zombies and spies and sceintists and absolutely no direction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Just Like A Game

**Author's Note:**

> (I know Kuroo's like, a huge science nerd in canon but he's more of a computer nerd/super spy here I'm so sorry) (Also to those who know me and/or my KuroKen secret admirer au I'm so sorry too)

You know that expression, the one about the apocalypse coming and going without you knowing because you're too busy binge watching some show on Netflix?

Yeah, you know the one. Well, Kenma had had first hand experience in that. It was amazing, really, how several seemingly unconnected factors contributed to Kenma's memo of the apocalypse being delayed.

Firstly, Kozume Kenma was a bit of a recluse. He lived in a private enough apartment complex, never really talked to his neighbors, spent days on end at his house, only going out for a monthly supply run. Every two months, if he could help it. He never answers the door either, unless he knows for sure who's on the other side. Usually a delivery guy, or one of his friends.

Second, Kenma didn't exactly have many friends. Sure, he had Kuroo (who was actually more than a friend but for now let's go with that). He liked to pop in and game with him (or just plain bother him) sometimes. And there was Hinata, that guy he worked with that one time with the CIA and had been playing RPGs with ever since. Being a freelance hacker and gamer definitely had him meet a lot of people- online, anyway. But he didn't usually go out of his way to contact either of what-he-considered-to-be-close-enough-to-be his friends. Whenever neither Kuroo nor Hinata showed up for a couple of days online or offline, Kenma just figured they were busy.

Third, when Kenma binge watches something, it's to the truest definition of the term. His phone and online life mostly goes ignored, he stocks up on bi-monthly supplies before the watching, he clears his hacker schedule.

Thinking back, Kenma tended to wonder if he could've survived the length of the apocalypse in that apartment, not knowing about the zombies roaming just outside. Too bad Kuroo and Hinata busted him out.

To be fair, Kenma had just finished his week long marathon, and was already online seeing all the chaos and destruction being posted. It was literally everywhere he went, even Myspace suddenly got revived, and the irony of _that_ wasn't lost on most of the posters there. So when Kenma finally opened his phone again (it's battery had died at some point during his binge watching) he wasn't too surprised at the barrage of texts and missed calls from Kuroo and Hinata. He immediately texted back.

**[9:03 AM] Please tell me you just hacked me and this is some elaborate, stupid prank.**

**[9:04 AM] Nevermind I can hear them outside now. Where are you?**

[9:04 AM] Im w/ Hinata, were almos to ur place. Its bn DAYS Kenma where were u????

Kenma frowned at Kuroo's typing. Agitated, definitely in a hurry, probably really worried. Kenma would normally push down the guilt but he definitely preferred it over the suffocating panic that had been slowly building up in him.

**[9:05 AM] I was marathoning I'm sorry. They're probably all over my apartment building, but nothing's getting inside my place yet. I'm safe.**

[9:06 AM] U better B. Well b der in 10 mins pack ur stuff.

[9:06 AM] also Hnata sys hi

[9:07 AM] Kenmaaaaaa!!!!1!! wer comin to save you!!!!!!

[9:08 AM] see?

Kenma allowed himself a little smile. It was comforting, knowing they were both alive.

**[9:08 AM] I see, yeah.**

He sent off the reply, to reassure them and himself. And then he got to packing. Due to a rather in-depth conversation with Hinata that one time, Kenma had already thought of several things he definitely needed if he was packing for the apocalypse. His smaller laptop, chargers, phone, his most comfy clothes, all the knives in his kitchen, his PSP with the most games saved in it, and as much of his food and water supply as he can manage to add in his backpack without making it too heavy. It was still plenty heavy, for Kenma, but he can probably run with it so it was fine.

Changing into more appropriate clothes (thick long sleeves that _probably_ won't get caught in things and thank whatever higher power existing that it was still early, cold spring) Kenma slung on his backpack, and sat in a stool a good distance away from the door. In between him and the door was also the TV, coffee table and sofa. All windows were double locked, as well as the doors. He knew Kuroo had a spare pass card to his apartment, and Hinata had one too, if he remembered to bring it.

All Kenma had to do was wait for his two friends to arrive. Had it been ten minutes yet? Kenma grabbed a watch, too, just in case.

It would probably take more than a few minutes to get through the zombies in the building.

Kenma wondered if there were too many zombies and his friends were dead.

To distract himself, Kenma went online again, but there was nothing but zombies. Warnings about them, theories, videos, safe zones that may or may not have become death traps yet, survival guides that was 'still in progress' and would probably be in progress forever, and one website that did nothing but post the 'extremely accurate' death counts (as in, The Dead, The Undead, The Dead Undead). They were calling the whole thing the Outbreak.

Kenma decided to go offline again, and to mute his phone.

It was too quiet, Kenma could hear the low groaning occassionally pass by his door. He desperately wanted to put his earphones on but he knew that would be stupid.

About two times Kenma thought he heard a scuffle outside, but those two times nothing happened.

The third time he could hear muffled curses, and told himself not to hope too much. When his door clicked, Kenma gripped his pistol tightly (a gift from Kuroo after Hinata's CIA incident nearly cost Kenma his life. Or at least that's how Kuroo liked to tell it. A couple of bad guys had gotten into the control room but were quickly disposed of before they could find Kenma hiding under the table.)

His grip relaxed when he saw that it really was Kuroo, with Hinata beaming from behind him. Beside Hinata was a tall man with a scowl, whom Kenma remembered as Hinata's work partner Kageyama. He can't remember if they were other kinds of partners too.

All three had some blood on them, but they were also in field gear, all kevlars and gloves and boots. Kenma couldn't see any signs of injury, thankfully. He tried not to look past them and into the hallway, covered in too much blood and what was probably body parts.

Kenma couldn't help compare them to his video games. The graphics were definitely better _here._

"Thank God, you're really okay," Kuroo's relieved sigh made Kenma release his own, and he readily accepted the hug Kuroo gave him. They both probably needed it.

"I told you we'd come for you!" Hinata proclaimed proudly, and was immediately shushed by his partner.

"There could still be zombies around," Kageyama said lowly, tense and alert and constantly scanning the hallway they were in", we have to go."

"Right," Kuroo pulled Kenma to his feet, and this time Kenma _did_ complain lightly. He wasn't a kid, he was a grown ass man. More or less.

"Where are we going?" Kenma felt the need to ask as they filed out into the hallway and made their way back down the building. Kageyama and Hinata were in front of him guns at the ready, with Kuroo at his back. Was that safe?

"We'll explain in the car," Kuroo answered, shushing Hinata before he could shout his answer.

The trip to the car was uneventful. Kenma imagined that in games said trip would have been a cutscene.

The car was parked a few feet in front of the building, clear from any obstructions. Kenma found himself feeling glad that he was friends with a super smart hacker (and sometimes super spy) and a high level CIA Agent. Their car was one of those armored vehicles used to transport important government stuff, like money or people. A BearCat, from the looks of it. (Ballistic Engineered Armored Response Counter Attack Truck) Kenma recognized it from one of his games.

Kageyama rode in the driver's seat, with Hinata riding shotgun. Kuroo and Kenma rode in the back, amongst some bags of supplies, several guns (secured to the walls), and a few comfy cushions. There was only one door out the back, and it had a small, thick, bulletproof window that doesn't open.

"To the Bunker?" Kageyama asked through the partition between the back and front of the car.

"Yep," Kuroo answered over Hinata's snickering and 'of course, dumbass!' ", remember the routine, no suspicious roads, tight turns, or passing pedestrians. Anyone who's smart enough would be holed up inside by now."

"We're not holed up inside," Kenma pointed out, settling on one of the cushions and grabbing one to hug. His bag had long joined its brethren, and he was also glad he didn't have to run with it. Kuroo sat beside him.

"That's because someone didn't answer their phone for a week," Kuroo reminded him, though he couldn't quite get rid of the happy, relieved grin on his face", when it all broke out, I was two cities away. I met Hinata and Grumpy a city away, and we were both looking for you anyway so we teamed up."

"What's the Bunker?" Kenma was sort of hoping it wasn't a government facility. Besides the fact that the movies never really trust them, Kenma had seen their security and he knew the movies were pretty much right not to. Inaccurate in presentation, but right.

"Hinata's friend was a huge worrier," Kuroo explained", he's got a nice hidden place in the mountains outside of town, zombie apocalypse proof, nuclear war proof, serial killer proof, and society-collapsing proof. Yes, some of those might be redundancy."

"And- he'll let us stay there?" Kenma clarified.

"Asahi's a really nice guy, of course he will!" Hinata answered this time, turning to peer at them from the partition", plus, the Bunker's actually pretty big, and _really_ well stocked. In fact, he's got several people there already. And he has a really good wifi signal!"

"Bo's there," Kuroo added, knowing Kenma was sort of friends with him too", and Akaashi. Yaku and Lev are hiding out on their own somewhere else but we're keeping constant contact."

Right. Kenma couldn't remember a time when Kuroo wasn't acquainted with his online friends, actually doubted that that time existed. But he was reminded of the concerned texts from them, too. He fished out his phone, pushed by guilt to at least tell them that he was fine.

"Any others?" he asked, just to fill the silence while he texted a very distraught Yaku and overexcited Lev.

"Yamamoto, Kai, several others in our CoD group," Kuroo listed out", they have their own places, though. They know how to keep safe."

Kenma glanced up from his texting, and noticing Hinata still peering at them, inclined his head in silent question.

"You remember the Crow crew right?" Hinata asked, oddly soft", they helped in that mission we did?"

Kenma nodded, putting down his phone for a moment.

"We got half of them in Asahi's place," Hinata grinned, but it was somewhat lacking", but several others haven't shown up yet. I mean, we get updates from them every couple of hours but they're still, you know, out there."

"I told you," Kageyama cut in, giving Hinata a slight shove", Tsukishima isn't dumb enough to get himself or Yamaguchi killed. And Tanaka-san will eventually run out of bombs and decide to get to safety."

"I know that!" Hinata moved to shove back but a warning sound from Kuroo stopped him, and he settled for sticking his tongue out at him childishly.

"I have no idea how these two survived without me," Kuroo joked", when I found them they looked just about ready to kill each other, and inviting every zombie in a five mile radius to do so, too."

"Hey! It was only about three miles!" Hinata complained, earning a soft, short laugh from Kenma. Immediately both Hinata and Kuroo's faces brightened at that.

A bearable silence passed over them, Kenma taking the time to finish up answering concerned texts. Kuroo fiddled with his phone, too. Hinata made occassional comments as he scanned the streets they passed, while Kageyama remained completely silent.

"I've only scanned online but," both Hinata and Kuroo turned to look at Kenma when he spoke up", does _anyone_ know what happened?"

"Some unknown scientists are being pointed out as culprits," Kuroo answered with a thoughtful hum", apparently it was a virus developed from a brain disease that they were trying to cure. But another theory gaining in popularity is illegal government experiments stolen by terrorists and let loose into the public."

"Anything on a cure?" Kenma pressed, though he was already opening his phone again to try and make inquiries.

"Several quacks floating around, nothing good," Kuroo shook his head.

They lapse into silence again.

***

"Oh hey, this area has lots of free wifi," Kuroo hmmed, typing away at his phone", and since everyone's zombified, we get to use it all by ourselves!"

Kenma was going to point out how that sounded a little too inappropriate when a notification on his phone caught his attention.

"Hey, Kuro," Kenma looked up at Kuroo minutely, leaning closer to show his phone's screen", is this what you meant by quacks?"

"Sort of, yeah," Kuroo nodded, then read aloud", Really Hot, Really Smart Neuroscientist With the Zombie Cure, Stuck in Hospital, in Need of Assistance. It's posted on Grindr, what the hell."

"It's also on Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, a bunch of other sites," Kenma said after a quick search", the hospital's about twelve miles to our left, and probably crawling with zombies. He doesn't look like he'll survive."

"I'm on his Instagram," Kuroo was scrolling down on his phone, looking somewhat impressed", he really is hot. What sort of mad scientist has hair like _that_?"

Kenma peered over at Kuroo's phone, staring at the pictures of the supposed neuroscientist. He had brown hair that flipped here and there stylishly, and big brown doe eyes with long lashes. Even in his square framed glasses and white lab coat he looked like a model. Curiously, Kenma read the name attached to the pictures.

"Oikawa Tooru."

Hinata let out a yelp, grabbing the steering wheel before Kageyama had the chance to make it swerve. He then proceeded to demand an explanation for Kageyama's near suicide very loudly.

"I'm fine! Shut up and give me back the wheel," Kageyama growled out, shoving Hinata back in his seat", I was just surprised. Did you say Oikawa Tooru?"

"Yeah," Kenma looked up through the partition, mostly to make sure Kageyama was driving on the road properly", why?"

"We were in high school together," Kageyama explained, sounding calm enough that Kenma was satisfied in letting him continue driving", he never really let go of volleyball club, and PE classes. Did he say he was at a hospital?"

"Saint Martin Memorial Hospital," Kuroo supplied", are you saying this guy's the real deal?"

"He's honest about his work, at least," Kageyama kept one hand on the steering wheel while the other hand fished around for something", We should see if he's still alive. How long has the thing been posted?"

"Ten hours, more or less," Kuroo answered again, looking down at his phone", do you think we should save him?"

"Not yet- wait," Kageyama huffed impatiently", Hinata, stop gaping and find my phone!"

"Sorry!" Hinata squeaked, immediately searching the front seats for said phone", I was just- you're friends with a _neuroscientist_?!"

"We're not friends," Kageyama snorted", the guy hates me. Now where's my phone?!"

"Found it!!" Hinata crowed triumphantly, waving a small, black phone around.

"Call him and put him on speaker," Kageyama ordered, and for once Hinata complied without complaint.

"You have the number of a guy who hates you?" Kuroo teased with his signature grin", what's up with that?"

"It's nothing like that!" Kageyama barked, ears red", he calls in stupid favors sometimes."

"Oho?" Kuroo raised a brow", define 'stupid favors' for me?"

"Kuro," Kenma scolded, since he'd rather have their driver staying reliably calm. And Kuroo's being rude, too.

"Hello! Tobio-chan," Oikawa Tooru's chirpy voice erupted from the phone in Hinata's hand", I'm afraid you're a little late! Someone already came and saved me, isn't that right, Iwachan?"

There came a sound like someone hitting something, and Oikawa whined.

"Iwachan! Beat up the zombies not me!"

"Oikawa-san, are you alright?" Kageyama asked, not comfortably.

"Of course I am," Oikawa huffed", I told you, someone already saved me!"

"Shittykawa, stop lying to your friend! We're stuck on the roof because you didn't put your stupid phone on vibrate!" A different voice interrupted.

"It's not my fault Makki's a little shit!" Oikawa protested.

"Just- get that thing off speaker and give it to me," the other voice demanded, and for a few moments there were only soft noises, and the unmistakeable low groaning of flesh hungry beings in the background.

"Iwaizumi here," the voice-that-was-not-Oikawa's came gruffly over the phone", if you're coming to help that would be nice. We're on the roof of the hospital, sealed off from the zombies but with no way down."

"Iwaizumi-san," Kuroo spoke up before anyone else in their car could", before we get to that- you sound like a military man, am I right?"

"No, but close," Iwaizumi's irritation rose clearly", spent a few years as a firefighter before joining the city police force. Are you Oikawa's friend?"

"Nope, I don't know him," Kuroo answered a little too cheerfully", but I gotta ask- do you think this neuroscientist is the real deal?"

It was a few moments before any answer could be heard, but when it came Iwaizumi's voice was firm and sure.

"Yes."

"Alright," Kuroo nodded, (uselessly, Kenma thought, since Iwaizumi wasn't there to see it) ", we'll rescue you. How many zombies do you think there are?"

"Too many, unless you have at least a troop and a gattling gun with you," Iwaizumi didn't sound encouraged", they're mostly on the top floors. There's a building near enough we could jump the roof to, but I don't like not knowing how many are in _there_."

"We'll clear out the neighboring building for you, then," Kuroo decided, ignoring the looks of confusion and unease from both Hinata and Kenma", we'll take about half an hour to get there, though, more depending on how many of them we encounter. Do you think you can hold out until then?"

"We will, unless someone else comes along first," Iwaizumi answered", we'll keep you updated if you do us,too."

"Sure," Kuroo looked around and addressed those with him", anybody want to say anything to Iwaizumi-san or Oikawa-san?"

When nobody spoke up, Kuroo nodded again.

"Hang in there, Iwaizumi-san," he said over the phone", we'll get to you." With a swipe of his hand he grabbed the phone and ended the call.

"So we're going to the hospital?" Kageyama asked, already changing gears.

"Can't someone else do it?" Kenma asked hesitantly, earning slightly surprised expressions", I mean- its out of our way. It'll take longer to get to safety..."

Kenma didn't want to admit that he was scared. There's a reason he left side quests alone until after finishing the main one. And right now, the main quest was to get him and Kuroo and his friends to safety.

"Don't worry, we'll be quick," Kuroo assured him, smiling softly for a change", if it's a cure, we should probably try to get it, right?" he touched a reassuring hand to Kenma's- well, the one not holding a phone anyway.

Kenma still looked like he doesn't quite agree, but he nodded anyway, ducking his head. A cure was probably a pretty important side quest, all things considered. A Silver band, at least.

"Kageyama, take the fastest route possible, but keep it at 60," Kuroo instructed, keeping his reassuring hold on Kenma", Hinata, if there's any less than six zombies, shoot them down. If its more than that, Kageyama, you'll have to speed up a little and lose 'em."

Kageyama and Hinata chorused a "Yessir" , the latter considerably more enthusiastic about his task.

"Are you alright guarding the car? When we go get the scientist?" Kuroo asked Kenma, who had started fiddling with his and Kuroo's fingers alike in agitation.

"I... if that'll help," he decided, face pinched", I don't think killing them in video games would be much the same as when its in real life."

"It's not," Kuroo laughed a little, squeezing Kenma's hand lightly", you actually have to move around this time. Hey, would you text Iwaizumi-san an update every ten minutes? I have to do something."

"What are you doing?" Kenma accepted the proffered phone and stared as Kuroo stood up in the car, reaching for a handle on the ceiling. He opened a hatch Kenma hadn't given thought before and climbed out up to his torso with a rifle in hand.

"I'm helping Hinata clear our path," Kuroo answered, voice slightly muffled.

Kenma wondered if that was safe, but decided against voicing his concerns. It was unlikely that zombies would jump off of buildings and unto the roof of the car. And Kuroo was not far enough outside to risk falling or being grabbed by anything they'd encounter on the ground. It was probably safe.

Of course, 'safe' was a relative term in those circumstances.

***

"Remember, just push this button to put the car on lockdown," Kuroo reminded for the hundredth time (well it was more like, fifth)", my phone will be on vibrate. If you see any more than three zombies, don't shoot, just hide. If you see humans, put it on lockdown immediately and text me. We can't be too careful."

"Have you seen yourself?" Kenma joked, annoyed but touched at Kuroo's concern", I'll be fine. Just hurry, and don't get anyone killed."

"Okay," Kuroo grinned, giving Kenma a brief but firm hug. He'd have done more but they really were in a little bit of a hurry. When he exited the car, Kageyama and Hinata were scanning the streets and waiting for him. He turned, to give Kenma another wave goodbye, and to wonder if its not too late to turn back. He spent a whole week wondering if Kenma was still alive and here he was about to leave him again so soon. Deciding that he'd just have to get both Kenma and the cure, he turned back around, facing Hinata and Kageyama again.

"Quick and quiet now," Kuroo reminded the pair with him, grinning a little. Unlike Kenma, these two actually needed the reminder.

They had parked a few buildings away, as close as they could get without attracting zombies. The hospital wasn't in a busy part of town, but after the Outbreak, hospitals _became_ the busy parts of town.

As they walk to the building- a 5 floor office building beside the 5 floor hospital- the three of them were trying to find the balance between careful and fast. Kuroo lead them, Hinata and Kageyama covering the left and right side each, occassionally glancing back. Kuroo worked freelance, but Hinata and Kageyama were full time CIA Agents. They were better suited in covering each other with Kuroo half-behind them. It was definitely a smart choice. It was definitely not because he didn't want to look back at the car constantly, where Kenma hid and waited for them.

A zombie shuffles in Kuroo's vision,  several meters to his right, and he scanned behind it for a moment, gesturing for Kageyama to wait. When no other zombies emerged, he gave the signal that they agreed meant 'don't kill it until its close, preferably with something that didn't make a BANG'. Sounds meant more zombies, and until they were heading _away_ from the zombie hotspot, they couldn't afford it.

They made it to the building with the zombie shambling weakly behind them, groaning lowly and probably doing its best to catch up. Several more zombies were inside the bloody, messy, glass covered lobby. Kuroo could see about three of them, and when he looked up at the shattered glass windows of the building he could see a little more movement. The building was definitely zombified.

He looked back at Kageyama and Hinata, the former gripping a large knife- practically close enough to a sword- and staring down the zombie that was still following them. With a nod, he confirmed that plan A was still in place.

Plan A being; As long as the zombie count didn't go over ten, they won't use guns. Hinata will stay in the second floor once it was cleared, with Kageyama in the fourth. Kuroo will proceed alone to the roof and get Iwaizumi and Oikawa. If there were more zombies than they could handle, they'd go to using guns and plan B.

Plan B was; shoot everything that moved and run the fuck out of the building, heading straight for the car. If they weren't all together by the time they got to the car, only five minutes was given to whoever needed to catch up. The time changes depending on how many zombies would chase them. Anyone who didn't make it would have to escape on their own.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa have been informed of the plans, too. All that was needed was for the zombies _not_ to swarm the hospital roof before they could escape.

***

Kuroo was starting to hope that they won't need plan B. But they already didn't need plan B when rescuing Kenma. Their luck can't be that good, not needing plan B while attempting two rescue missions in one day.

The second floor had around five zombies, easily taken cared of between the three of them. Hinata stationed himself by the stairs, grinning and giving them a thumbs up. The third floor only contained one, while the fourth had five more. Manageable numbers, Kuroo thought.

When nothing plan B worthy happened as he kicked and slashed at the three zombies on the fifth floor (zombie weakness number 1: stairs and elevators) Kuroo grew more on edge. There was no telltale shout or gunshots yet. It was quiet, way too quiet. Then again, it had always been way too quiet since the Outbreak.

He got to the roof, where there was more blood and guts. Across the roof, on the other building, Iwaizumi and Oikawa stood. Kuroo recognized the man waving at him excitedly as Oikawa. His brown hair was a mussy cloud of curls and tangles, he had a bag slung over his bloody and torn lab coat, his glasses askew. The man beside him, leather jacket, spiky hair, pistol in hand, expression relieved but grim, he guessed to be Iwaizumi. As Kuroo went closer, he saw the door to the hospital's roof barricaded with what looked like a lot of metal bars and pieces of plywood. Even that far away Kuroo could hear the moans and thump thump thump of the barricade slowly giving way.

When there was only a three foot gap between Kuroo and the pair (the gap between the buildings, as it was) Oikawa deemed it good enough to speak.

"Ya-ho! You must be our rescue team?" Oikawa called cheerfully, as if there was no imminent danger just a few meters from them.

"Part of it, yes," Kuroo grinned, playing along (it was better than pointing out the obvious, anyway) ",I'm Kuroo. Kenma told you we were coming, right?" (this was mostly so Kuroo could be reassured that Kenma was still there, still safe enough to text.)

"Yep," Oikawa chirped", can't wait to meet him!"

"I bet," Iwaizumi said gruffly, glancing behind him at a loud _crack_ coming from their barricade", come on, Shittykawa. We have to get out of here."

Kuroo took a few steps back, gesturing with a hand", remember to get some leverage when you jump."

"Iwachan you should go fi-" Oikawa was cut off by a hit to the head, iwaizumi fuming for some reason.

"Jump or I'll throw you," he demanded, and Oikawa nodded. Without further complaint, he stepped back a few and made for a running start. With his long legs, Oikawa made the jump pretty easy, even landed a solid foot from the edge of Kuroo's roof. Just as loud groaning erupted from the hospital roof Iwaizumi landed beside Oikawa, red faced and a little shaky. In a matter of minutes the hospital roof swarmed with the undead.

Instead of sticking around to watch if the zombies were also capable of jumping roofs, the three of them were already on their way down the office building.

Surprisingly, plan B didn't go into effect just yet.

They got as far as outside the building, actually, when a small horde of zombies appeared from across the street, lured there by the sounds of their brethren on the roof. Kuroo counted thirteen, and decided they could run for it for a bit. They needed to distance themselves from the hospital as soon and as much as possible before they started shooting.

"Don't start shooting until the car's in your sights," Kuroo warned, and they were all full on sprinting now. Oikawa, for all his chirpiness earlier, ran silently, slightly behind Iwaizumi, who ran beside Kuroo.

It was only a few seconds, when Iwaizumi nearly stumbled on a pothole and Kuroo grabbed his arm to steady him. Oikawa made a strangled noise, and Iwaizumi's breath hitched, but he grit his teeth and muttered 'I'm fine' and ran ahead, closer to Kageyama and Hinata who seemed to have been having a contest to see who reaches the car first. Kuroo didn't think much of it, probably just a wound, he wasn't turning so he was safe.

Much later, after they had scrambled into the armored car, Kuroo and Iwaizumi shot the zombies who were too close for comfort before Kageyama drove off. After everyone's had time to calm down a little, and Kenma's been regaled with Hinata's imaginative narration of what happened. After Oikawa and Iwaizumi re-introduced themselves, and Kuroo and Kenma and Hinata introduced themselves. When they were all checking for injuries, Kuroo remembered the almost-stumble.

"Let me take a look at your arm," Kuroo offered", I saw you wince when you stumbled back there."

Iwaizumi and Oikawa exchanged a long, suspiciously silent look, before Iwaizumi began peeling off his jacket and Oikawa began talking.

"Let me tell you about how we ended up on that roof!" he chirped excitedly, strained grin plastered on his face", you see, I was getting some important things when I got stuck in that hospital- the zombies came out of nowhere, I _swear_ and I only managed to lock myself in a doctor's office to avoid getting bitten. I sent out my artfully crafted message to the world wide web then, and not three hours later Iwachan arrives!"

Kuroo, bemused and also slightly confused, helped Iwaizumi carefully take off the bandages wrapped around his bicep as he listened to how Oikawa just _knew_ his saviour had come. Hinata, who was supposed to be scanning the streets even though Kageyama still hadn't gone down the 70 mph mark, was obviously enraptured by the story. Kenma, who huddled beside Kuroo, peaked curiously at his playing nurse while glancing at Oikawa every other time he made an exaggerated exclamation.

"And _then_ we sneaked off on the other side of the corridor," Oikawa continued, words becoming more frantic and hurried the more Iwaizumi's bandages came off", when my phone started blaring that stupid doge meme remix at full blast. So of course we ran for it, and there were a shit ton of zombies and one of them managed to snag my coat and-"

It was Kenma who saw it first, the flesh and the blood, the pattern of teeth marks made clearer by someone's earlier attempt to clean the wound. He gripped Kuroo's wrist hard enough to break the circulation, wrenching it away from Iwaizumi's wound and grabbing the nearest gun he could find- the pistol he still hadn't stowed away in his bag, Kuroo's gift. He was acting all on instinct, and years of playing games. He should've known side quests would only lead to more trouble.

Oikawa quickly pulled Iwaizumi behind him, shielding him from Kenma's gun and shouting ",wait! wait wait wait wait wait-" frantically.

Hinata at first only asked what was going on, but upon seeing Iwaizumi's now exposed bite mark, he began shouting. Kageyama started shouting back, but somehow remained concentrated enough to keep driving. Thankfully he slowed the car down to 60 mph.

"Everyone shut up!" Kuroo tried to get command back, and the two agents up front immediately clammed up. Oikawa shut his mouth, too, but remained in front of Iwaizumi with his arms outstretched, stone faced. Iwaizumi sat shoved against some bags and cushions behind him, frowning worriedly.

"When was he bitten?" Kenma demanded, voice just a little bit shaky", why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"Look, it doesn't matter, he's not going to turn!" Oikawa insisted, trying to glare Kenma into putting the gun down", I've been studying the zombies ever since the Outbreak- once someone's been infected, it takes exactly 154 seconds for them to turn. Iwachan's been bitten hours ago- he's not going to turn!"

"Why is he _not_ going to turn?" Kenma hadn't raised his voice, and his quietness made it all the more accusing.

"Because I cured him," Oikawa gave a little shrug and a weak smile", I had the cure, so I used it. Never too early to start saving lives, right?"

The car drove a little above 50 mph, everyone taking a moment to take the information in. Finally Kenma lowered the gun, placing it on his bag beside him. He hadn't let go of Kuroo yet, but nobody's complaining (except maybe Kuroo's circulation). With a relieved sigh Oikawa relaxed and sank beside Iwaizumi, helping him move the bags aside for a better sitting position. They found a first aid kit in the process and started tending to Iwaizumi's wound.

"So you really are the real deal," Kuroo said, unbelieving", to think, our zombie apocalypse only lasted a week." he shot a smile at Kenma, but _he_ didn't seem convinced just yet. He stared expectantly at Oikawa, who pointedly ignored him. At least, until Iwaizumi nudged him a little too hard.

"Tell them what you told me," Iwaizumi said insistently.

"I used up all of the cure on Iwachan," Oikawa admitted, pouting at Iwaizumi and rubbing his side sorely", we were escaping and- Iwachan got bitten because I tripped and my coat got snagged and- what else was I supposed to do? I gave him the cure!"

"You mean there's no more cure?" Kuroo demanded, confused and admittedly pretty frustrated about it. Can't they just say if there was hope or not instead of going this and that way?

"Not exactly," Oikawa appeared to be at least a little frustrated too",  I memorized how to make it- and all my notes and records are in my bag. But collecting the things I need again just to make that one syringe-full... it's going to take a while. I could try to extract it from Iwachan's blood, too but there's no guarantee that'll work... I didn't tell you at first because- you might not have saved us if you knew I didn't have the cure anymore."

Nobody knew exactly what to say to that, and the silence that followed was a little uneasy, though thankfully less tense. Several different things were running through Kenma's mind.

Kenma was deciding that he was partways pissed and partways still suspicious. They risked their lives for this annoying scientist who didn't even really have a cure, not anymore. And until the scientist explains to them exactly how he managed to make the cure, Kenma wasn't going to be convinced that Iwaizumi won't turn spontaneously and kill everyone in the car. The whole Outbreak itself was still a huge question mark, too. What or who started it? Was it over, or will there be more apocalyptic events to come?

Kuroo was a little more hopeful than that, at least. He could understand the need to survive, even if he didn't like how Oikawa lied about still having the cure. And they were the ones who volunteered to rescue the guy, anyway. Besides, they had resources, connections, it should be easy putting a cure together in relative safety. If they got to relative safety. And they will. They had to.

Kuroo tried to convey his hopefulness with a reassuring arm around his boyfriend's shoulder, but Kenma was too deep in thought. Kuroo bit back a sigh and settled for a kiss instead, on top of Kenma's head. At first he didn't think he was being acknowledged, but Kenma leaned closer to him, and that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> (What the hell is that ending) (For a zombie au there aren't a lot of zombie killing and there's too much talking and driving I'm so sorry) (Also I took so many liberties with the armored car and the guns and the science and the buildings I'm so sorry) (Also I told myself this would be KuroKen but I keep hinting at KageHina and IwaOi I'm so sorry) (All in all I hope you enjoyed but also I'm so sorry)


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